rain on me, holy spirit
bleed on me, lamb of god
breathe on me, inspiration
cause what i need is who you are

it's not that i don't believe you surround me
it's just that i want to know you completely
so bring your word back to me in the right way
so i can know you

tell the truth
i'll change my mind
follow your way not my way
so i can know you

and i believe you are there
and you are waiting for me
so i can know you

so meet me here in my prayer
oh my god, i implore you
so i can know you

"know you" by tom conlon

tonight i happened to play tom's first cd as i was sitting down to spend in prayer & with my journal. several songs played as i wrote & prayed. all of the sudden i paused & heard the beginning of this song. i immediately had to stop and absorb the song and all that it means to me. many days & nights during undergrad, this song gave me just enough to press on, whether it was the cd playing or a friend playing on the guitar just for me.

it continues to reach deep within me to invite worship to come forth. it helps to usher me into the arms of jesus to even be able to ask him what his way is for my life and to willingly change my thoughts to line up with his. through these words i can declare my faith to him that sometimes feels lacking.

in the same way that jesus encounters the paralytic in mark by first forgiving his sins and then second healing his body (only to prove his authority to the scribes), i wonder what things jesus has done first in my life when i've wanted the second. his reason is inverse to my earthly reasoning. if i encountered a paralytic, or just someone who has been wounded by words, it would be a whole lot easier for me to say i forgive you that it would be to say you're healed. but what reality do i live in and in whose power do i forgive? i need jesus, especially when i think i don't.