In chapter two of Nehemiah, 3-4 months since he first began praying, we get to see him at the job. The text doesn’t seem to indicate that this was the first time Nehemiah was in the presence of the King since his time of morning and fasting, but it does indicate that it was his first time being sad; maybe the fact that God was not answering his prayer in the way that he desired was weighing heavily, the reality of long-term, “hard-winter” prayer. The kind that accepts hard life as reality, like when the Ingalls family in Little House on the Prairie was getting prepared for winter; they knew that it would be a long time before hope, in the form of Spring, returned.
So, Nehemiah does what every adult would do, he gets up, he gets dressed, and he goes to work. What else is there, but to continue life, or some semblance of it? Then, as if he jumped into the icy cold water, he realizes that the King has noticed his sadness; and his journal records “Ï was very much afraid.” When I imagine all of the scenes in the Old Testament of servants and slaves in the court of the King, I imagine those where people walk quietly, everything is perfect, please don’t upset the King, please don’t anger the King, please don’t offend the king; these types of sentiments seem to rule the day, and Nehemiah, by his very demeanor invites the Kings’ personal inquiry. Confronted, Nehemiah boldly states the source of his sadness, knowing that his honest response will be the only true explanation. Then the King responds to Nehemiah “What would you request?”
I can only imagine the surprise in Nehemiah’s heart at this question, “did he just ask me this? Someone make sure I heard this correctly, did the King just ask me what he could do?” And what did Nehemiah do in the brief moments between the King’s question and his timely response? Nehemiah prayed real quick…..
Now, I couldn’t just let this go. This is my soapbox, the one that I stand on each year for the past ten or more, decrying the act of praying “real quick.” Prayer isn’t something we grab, like the sucker at the barber shop as we are rushing out the door. Prayer is connection with God, it’s heartfelt journeying, it’s time and thought, and time and quiet, and time and listening, and time and crying, and more time. It’s the journey process, not the quick, give-me-what-I-want candy jar. Yet here he is praying in that brief moment between the question and the answer; it can only be a second, maybe two.
But that’s what I love about Nehemiah and the way he prayed. Nehemiah’s journal stated that this is the first time that he was sad in the King’s presence; it also states that the reason for his sadness was for the city of Jerusalem. As all of this is true, I believe that in Nehemiah’s life, we catch a part of what it means to pray without ceasing. It almost seems that Nehemiah’s very demeanor and life takes on this prayer, this mourning for the Jews, for Jerusalem, for a people who are enduring separation from God. He takes the burden on as his own. This isn’t just sadness; this is life demeanor in conversation with God, one that begins to influence his very actions; his relationship with the Father influences his “real” life. Or, maybe his “real” life is finally influencing his existence. Maybe his community with God is finally breaking into his-so-called-life.
Sure, Nehemiah prays for maybe a second, under his breath as he inhales before exhaling the radical proposal that he take off from work for a journey to rebuild a slave town and his request for the king to fund it. Yet, this wasn’t the beginning of the God-conversation, it is the natural continuation of a conversational life with God, one that is interacting, that is pleading and listening, watching and waiting, and when the answer comes, recognizes that it is God speaking in events, to use the impossible, the unbelievable, to move in His world, the “real” world, the world of God’s Kingdom.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Our Father
Take a journey with me back to Chapter 1 of Mark...
In our illustrious small group last week, Kelly was pointing out the mystery surrounding God's emphatic statement during Jesus' baptism: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." What does it mean, God is pleased with Jesus? What is God saying here? This is one of the very few times in the Gospels (and even the New Testament as a whole) when God the Father speaks. It is of profound importance. What is going on here?
Something struck me while we were discussing these questions and ideas. "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." This is the single statement that every son wants to hear from his father. "I love you, I am pleased with you." Jonathan Eldridge spent much of his influential novel Wild at Heart explaining how every man is looking for these sentiments from his father. They are absolutely essential to the male psyche. They are basic needs of the gender. There are people out there whose whole life is defined by their desire for love and acceptance from their father.
And right there, just as Jesus is beginning his ministry, God gives his Son the two things that every young man needs from his father, boldly and powerfully, in front of a crowd of witnesses. Many, many earthly boys' troubles would be resolved by such an act. God knows exactly what his Son needs, and does it directly. It is a model for fathers to imitate - a way they can manifest his character in their lives.
When viewed in the light of its profound importance to Jesus as man (in the male sense, not the mankind sense), this statement is a send-off, a directive, an inspirational speech that calls the Son of Man to his good work. It is want every boy wants to hear his father say. It is what God is saying to every follower of Christ.
In our illustrious small group last week, Kelly was pointing out the mystery surrounding God's emphatic statement during Jesus' baptism: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." What does it mean, God is pleased with Jesus? What is God saying here? This is one of the very few times in the Gospels (and even the New Testament as a whole) when God the Father speaks. It is of profound importance. What is going on here?
Something struck me while we were discussing these questions and ideas. "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." This is the single statement that every son wants to hear from his father. "I love you, I am pleased with you." Jonathan Eldridge spent much of his influential novel Wild at Heart explaining how every man is looking for these sentiments from his father. They are absolutely essential to the male psyche. They are basic needs of the gender. There are people out there whose whole life is defined by their desire for love and acceptance from their father.
And right there, just as Jesus is beginning his ministry, God gives his Son the two things that every young man needs from his father, boldly and powerfully, in front of a crowd of witnesses. Many, many earthly boys' troubles would be resolved by such an act. God knows exactly what his Son needs, and does it directly. It is a model for fathers to imitate - a way they can manifest his character in their lives.
When viewed in the light of its profound importance to Jesus as man (in the male sense, not the mankind sense), this statement is a send-off, a directive, an inspirational speech that calls the Son of Man to his good work. It is want every boy wants to hear his father say. It is what God is saying to every follower of Christ.
Lord of the Sabbath
I really love the combination of service and rest that Jesus portrays in the first three chapters of Mark. There is a clear abundance of activity...healing, walking, dining, answering...but then there is also retreat. I love that when Jesus wakes up early to pray that He doesn't get put out with being interrupted. I would...I mean really...if I'd been helping people all night long and I get up early to commune with the Father...then I want to commune with the Father...not run off again and do more of what made me lose sleep in the first place. Again, my selfish nature is evident.
Jesus has such a clear sense of why He is where He is and what He is to be about. He doesn't allow physical things to bind Him. That sounds really nice, but when I say physical things, I mean sleeping and eating. At the end of chapter 3, His family is coming to rescue Him and take charge of Him because He is being irresponsible...He isn't taking time or getting space even to eat. He effectively sends them away.
In the middle of these episodes, at the end of chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3, lie two very closely related stories about violating the Sabbath laws. In an interesting contrast to the surrounding words about ignoring one's physical needs to be about the things of the Kingdom, we find Jesus and His disciples breaking laws in order to eat. When questioned, He declares that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
I love this. The Sabbath is made for man to rest...to enjoy...to take pleasure in. This is a time and place carved out by God to be a central, focused rest for the good of His people. Of course there should be eating on this day. Of course there should be healing and restoration on this day, but somehow, these very things cause even the Pharisees and Herodians to collaborate about how to kill Jesus.
I find myself acting only on either extreme of these chapters. Some days, I'm full of activity to the point of being willing to deny myself rest and food in order to "get things accomplished." Then, other days, I recognize my need for rest and make my self a glutton for it. I eat and sleep and recline with no motivation to do otherwise. Really, the problem, I think, isn't so much in the ability to behave one way or the other. Jesus exhibits tireless work and glorious rest. The problem lies in the will behind each behavior.
I may serve earnestly and tirelessly...and on a good day, without complaint...but then concern of self takes over and rest is required. The transition from one behavior to another is completely subject to my whims and moods...and not so much subject to God's will. The piece of God's character I want to learn here is how to work and how to rest...and mostly, how to do that as a subject of His will and not my whims.
Jesus has such a clear sense of why He is where He is and what He is to be about. He doesn't allow physical things to bind Him. That sounds really nice, but when I say physical things, I mean sleeping and eating. At the end of chapter 3, His family is coming to rescue Him and take charge of Him because He is being irresponsible...He isn't taking time or getting space even to eat. He effectively sends them away.
In the middle of these episodes, at the end of chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3, lie two very closely related stories about violating the Sabbath laws. In an interesting contrast to the surrounding words about ignoring one's physical needs to be about the things of the Kingdom, we find Jesus and His disciples breaking laws in order to eat. When questioned, He declares that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
I love this. The Sabbath is made for man to rest...to enjoy...to take pleasure in. This is a time and place carved out by God to be a central, focused rest for the good of His people. Of course there should be eating on this day. Of course there should be healing and restoration on this day, but somehow, these very things cause even the Pharisees and Herodians to collaborate about how to kill Jesus.
I find myself acting only on either extreme of these chapters. Some days, I'm full of activity to the point of being willing to deny myself rest and food in order to "get things accomplished." Then, other days, I recognize my need for rest and make my self a glutton for it. I eat and sleep and recline with no motivation to do otherwise. Really, the problem, I think, isn't so much in the ability to behave one way or the other. Jesus exhibits tireless work and glorious rest. The problem lies in the will behind each behavior.
I may serve earnestly and tirelessly...and on a good day, without complaint...but then concern of self takes over and rest is required. The transition from one behavior to another is completely subject to my whims and moods...and not so much subject to God's will. The piece of God's character I want to learn here is how to work and how to rest...and mostly, how to do that as a subject of His will and not my whims.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Sons of Thunder
I was reflecting last night on Jesus' habit of renaming his disciples, specifically James and John. "The Sons of Thunder." Images of great band names and NASCAR commercials come to mind. But really, the name is inspiring, isn't it? How great would it be, how excited would it make you, how courageous would you feel, if the son of the God of the universe named you a "Son of Thunder?" I think I would feel emboldened to conquer anything.
The truth is, I guess, that this has already happened. Winn has spoken many times on Sunday morning about the importance of our names. Names certainly take great significance in the Bible. I look around me, and people's names do seem to often reflect deep parts of their character. According to the friendly neighborhood internet, "Erin" means "peace." "Stuart" means "guardian of the house." "Shannon" means "God is gracious." "Monica" means "counselor" (I'm not making this up).
My name means "one who is righteous, just, or fair." Though these are not qualities I would profess, they are ones that I place great stock in, that I desire, and that I seek passionately. God has given me what he gave James and John, and that knowledge is pretty exciting.
But of course I think God has named us all, even if our actual name doesn't mean anything cool or pertinent. He has taken away our old identity and given us a new identity in him, just like he did to Simon, James, John, Joshua, Paul, etc. We should all feel emboldened to conquer anything.
The truth is, I guess, that this has already happened. Winn has spoken many times on Sunday morning about the importance of our names. Names certainly take great significance in the Bible. I look around me, and people's names do seem to often reflect deep parts of their character. According to the friendly neighborhood internet, "Erin" means "peace." "Stuart" means "guardian of the house." "Shannon" means "God is gracious." "Monica" means "counselor" (I'm not making this up).
My name means "one who is righteous, just, or fair." Though these are not qualities I would profess, they are ones that I place great stock in, that I desire, and that I seek passionately. God has given me what he gave James and John, and that knowledge is pretty exciting.
But of course I think God has named us all, even if our actual name doesn't mean anything cool or pertinent. He has taken away our old identity and given us a new identity in him, just like he did to Simon, James, John, Joshua, Paul, etc. We should all feel emboldened to conquer anything.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Jesus Answers the Critics
As I read chapter 2 of Mark, I get the sense that Jesus does things that are unconventional and Mark wishes to detail why, teach us through specific events in the life of Jesus. Interestingly, this chapter takes on, through illustrations, a sort of Frequently Asked Questions during Jesus’ ministry. In the first scene, Jesus answers the question of His authority as well as His being, “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” The unwritten question being, who do you think you are, God? Jesus emphatically replies, yes, “the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” In the second scene, Jesus answers, “Why is he eating and drinking with sinners?” In this question, Jesus addresses His accusers by stating His purpose, “I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners,” the all-call demonstrating that we come to Christ as those in need of Him, those who are unrighteous, those who can’t make life work. In the third scene, Jesus answers, “Why do…Your disciples not fast?” In His answer, Jesus reveals more of who He is and what He has come to do through the imagery of marriage, “they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast.” Jesus states that He is the one who has come to claim His own, to be married to His bride and this is cause for celebration. Additionally, He is stating that in fasting, we are recognizing (or attempting to) from whom our true life comes, to connect with God. Jesus is stating again, God is here, there is no reason to fast, connection now is celebration. Our flesh does not hinder us from God in this case; it helps us experience the joy of His presence, in Jesus. Finally, the fourth scene, Jesus is asked, “why are [Your disciples] doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” In His answer, Jesus reveals the Sabbath’s purpose and gives some insight into the role of the Law in people’s lives, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.” Later in the New Testament, Paul discusses the role of the Law as tutor (Gal 3:24), supporting the teachings of Jesus, in that, we don’t serve the Law, we serve God; the Law serves us and instructs us in the ways of God.
One final thought, Jesus is tearing down some false idols and beliefs as He relays, I am God, I am more important than adherence to strict codes of living, I am more important that fasting and I am more important than observance of the Sabbath. He develops an argument for new living. Possibly, this gives some insight into his comments in verse 21 and 22; we must be changed people. We cannot be fixed with doing the right things (unshrunk cloth on our own old garment) nor poured into without being recreated (new wine needs fresh wineskins).
One final thought, Jesus is tearing down some false idols and beliefs as He relays, I am God, I am more important than adherence to strict codes of living, I am more important that fasting and I am more important than observance of the Sabbath. He develops an argument for new living. Possibly, this gives some insight into his comments in verse 21 and 22; we must be changed people. We cannot be fixed with doing the right things (unshrunk cloth on our own old garment) nor poured into without being recreated (new wine needs fresh wineskins).
Monday, September 10, 2007
rain on me, holy spirit
bleed on me, lamb of god
breathe on me, inspiration
cause what i need is who you are
it's not that i don't believe you surround me
it's just that i want to know you completely
so bring your word back to me in the right way
so i can know you
tell the truth
i'll change my mind
follow your way not my way
so i can know you
and i believe you are there
and you are waiting for me
so i can know you
so meet me here in my prayer
oh my god, i implore you
so i can know you
"know you" by tom conlon
tonight i happened to play tom's first cd as i was sitting down to spend in prayer & with my journal. several songs played as i wrote & prayed. all of the sudden i paused & heard the beginning of this song. i immediately had to stop and absorb the song and all that it means to me. many days & nights during undergrad, this song gave me just enough to press on, whether it was the cd playing or a friend playing on the guitar just for me.
it continues to reach deep within me to invite worship to come forth. it helps to usher me into the arms of jesus to even be able to ask him what his way is for my life and to willingly change my thoughts to line up with his. through these words i can declare my faith to him that sometimes feels lacking.
in the same way that jesus encounters the paralytic in mark by first forgiving his sins and then second healing his body (only to prove his authority to the scribes), i wonder what things jesus has done first in my life when i've wanted the second. his reason is inverse to my earthly reasoning. if i encountered a paralytic, or just someone who has been wounded by words, it would be a whole lot easier for me to say i forgive you that it would be to say you're healed. but what reality do i live in and in whose power do i forgive? i need jesus, especially when i think i don't.
bleed on me, lamb of god
breathe on me, inspiration
cause what i need is who you are
it's not that i don't believe you surround me
it's just that i want to know you completely
so bring your word back to me in the right way
so i can know you
tell the truth
i'll change my mind
follow your way not my way
so i can know you
and i believe you are there
and you are waiting for me
so i can know you
so meet me here in my prayer
oh my god, i implore you
so i can know you
"know you" by tom conlon
tonight i happened to play tom's first cd as i was sitting down to spend in prayer & with my journal. several songs played as i wrote & prayed. all of the sudden i paused & heard the beginning of this song. i immediately had to stop and absorb the song and all that it means to me. many days & nights during undergrad, this song gave me just enough to press on, whether it was the cd playing or a friend playing on the guitar just for me.
it continues to reach deep within me to invite worship to come forth. it helps to usher me into the arms of jesus to even be able to ask him what his way is for my life and to willingly change my thoughts to line up with his. through these words i can declare my faith to him that sometimes feels lacking.
in the same way that jesus encounters the paralytic in mark by first forgiving his sins and then second healing his body (only to prove his authority to the scribes), i wonder what things jesus has done first in my life when i've wanted the second. his reason is inverse to my earthly reasoning. if i encountered a paralytic, or just someone who has been wounded by words, it would be a whole lot easier for me to say i forgive you that it would be to say you're healed. but what reality do i live in and in whose power do i forgive? i need jesus, especially when i think i don't.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
a comparison
I look for many models of pray - be it Hannah's prayer or a Davidic Psalm. I must assume that Nehemiah's prayer is a good model. I noticed some similarities between how Jesus teaches us to pray and how Nehemiah prays:
Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
who preserves the covenant and lovingkindness for those who love Him and keep His commandments,
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name.
I beseech You, O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God,
Your kingdom come your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
who preserves the covenant and lovingkindness for those who love Him and keep His commandments,
(praying to our Father, declaring His everlasting covenant with us - the kingdom)
Give us this day our daily bread.
let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants,
(there is an immediate need)
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have sinned against You; I and my father's house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses.
(we have debts, forgive us Father, we have been scattered)
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Remember the word which You commanded Your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful I will scatter you among the peoples; but if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though those of you who have been scattered were in the most remote part of the heavens, I will gather them from there and will bring them to the place where I have chosen to cause My name to dwell.'
(reconnect us with you Father, return us to Your ways, make our paths straight. May we delight again in being with You in the land of our Father's father, in the land where Your name dwells. Bring the kingdom Father.)
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. O Lord, I beseech You, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and make Your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man.
I see a lot of connections between these two prayers. How much do I long to live in the place where God has chosen His name to dwell! How joyful am I that He dwells in me! The kingdom coming is a city being built. God will reign.
(Father may your will be done here today. You work towards redemption. May we be redeemed unto your kingdom. May we live more and more in it everyday. Your name has power forever.)
I see a lot of connections between these two prayers. How much do I long to live in the place where God has chosen His name to dwell! How joyful am I that He dwells in me! The kingdom coming is a city being built. God will reign.
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